Bittersweet

The plane’s wing obscures my view of the retreating metropolis below.  Some strange longing inside leads me to rise out of my seat to get just one final peek, one nonsensical attempt to somehow see your image before it disappears…

You asked me why I was staring. Why am I looking at you so? I feel at once relieved that you cannot see my heart wailing inside my chest. I smile, attempting to deflect your question, but hoping the moment will last forever. Do you have any clue what your eyes do to me? Do you feel anything as you quizzically gaze back? Does your soul scream out like mine, longing for its counterpoint?

What could be, would be, if I weren’t here and you there? What if we both hadn’t blown it the first time? The question remains embedded in my mind after 3 years, 4 months, 1 day, and 18 hours. Can either of us suffer one more assault before we, before we… give up? Because you see, if it fails now, I’m not sure there will be another one…

Nothing else left, we embrace, once, then again, and finally, a third time. I pull my luggage; you pull away.

I finally catch a glimpse of the city lights below. As they stretch below, I wonder if you are out there somewhere, thinking of me too. I wonder if you are thinking about a time long ago, when we both knew happiness, and though naively, we both knew love. And I wonder that, with the same foolishness, you believe it could happen again.

Thankfully the red eye is nearly empty tonight. As melancholy mounts, no one witnesses my grieving soul, or my tears.

I saw

I once knew love like this...

Currently Listening The Cool By Lupe Fiasco Fighters see related

Here goes nothing!

Last night was simply glorious- Lupe Fiasco, Rihanna, N.E.R.D., and the self-proclaimed brightest star in the universe, Kanye West.  I paid $90 a few months ago expecting just to see Kanye and some up-and-coming hip hop artist, and was treated to some of the best artists today (if you haven't heard Lupe's 2nd album, I highly recommend it). I'm not really a Rihanna fan, but wow, the girl can sing! Umbrella ella ella eh eh eh! Turns out, yesterday was Kanye's birthday, so we were treated to some (I believe) impromptu monologues... and for those of you familiar with him, it didn't disappoint   A 5 hour concert for $90? Unbelievable.

In more important news, I have this week the biggest exams of my life. For those of you who aren't familiar, I'm going to D.O. school, which is basically M.D. school plus some extra classes. If you've ever been to the doctor, you may have seen a D.O., since they practice the same scope of medicine as M.D.'s. Anyway, I made the choice to come to my current med school based on many reasons, as I didn't really care whether the initials after my name were D.O. or M.D. (For those of you familiar with this and care, yes, I did get into multiple U.S. M.D schools- I wasn't one who took his second option by any means). So, this week I get to take not just one, but two separate Step I board exams, the COMLEX and USMLE. These are quite probably the most meaningful exams I will ever take, as they can have a strong bearing on where I will do my residency. Keep me in your prayers especially this coming Thursday & Sunday as I will be sitting in front of a computer trying to keep my sanity for 8 hours. Seriously, pray hard. I need it.